My monks eat meat, do yours?

Hello all.
So when we last left our intrepid traveler, I was in the temple... bag of sand in one hand, staring at the golden idol on the alter... the heat was intense. Sweat dripping from my brow. ... using my very keen sense of observation, I adjust the amount of sand in the bag so that it matches that of the idol... Very skillfully I swapped the sand bag for the idol uhh... yeah... umm... then all of a sudden, the bag on the alter starts to sink...uhh... in to the alter... yeah... and then the whole temple starts to rumble and the rocks start falling from the... ceiling... yeah... so... uhhh I start running... umm... WHAT!? We've all had out Indiana Jones fantasies no?

So, just so you know... If you haven't heard from me in a while, I apologize. Getting access to the internet at the monastery is next to impossible and going to the nearest cafe is like... well... building the Eiffel tower out of marshmallows. In other words, very difficult. All the conditions have to be aligned properly and then blessed by the pope.

ok... so where am? Well as we speak I'm now in Nepal, in a small town on the outskirts of Pokha ra called Bugger. I'm living about a 15 minute ride out in to the country in a Buddhist monastery called Pemal T'sal Sakaya Monastic Institute. I'm about I don't know how many days in to my placement at the Buddhist monastery and, I'm very much looking forward to going home. oh yes, you heard me right. Wow...
where to begin with it all. First off, it's really intense here in Nepal. Real intense. I like to consider myself the seasoned traveler and I have visited a fair amount of what we in the west would call developing countries; Thailand, Cambodia and Vietnam. All of which I can honestly say that I have truly loved and enjoyed. Yes there were moments in those adventures where I had some difficulties, but nothing.. and i mean nothing had prepared me for my first two weeks here in Nepal. Culture shock cannot even begin to describe what I've been living. From the first days in Kathmandu where I thought I had gotten off the plane in Mogadishu; to my current situation, where I'm living in a Buddhist monastery run by Basil Faulty his intrepid staff (If some of you don't know who Basil Faulty is, I highly recommend that you go and rent yourself a Faulty Towers dvd)... The monastery itself is actually a monastery/orphanage which is situated on the edge of a Tibetan Refugee camp. Yes... refugee camp.... for Tibetans... trust me, this is not your ordinary trekking/sight seeing visit to Nepal. I really don't feel like I'm in Nepal. It's much more like
Little Tibet.

Where to begin?... So, my initial plan was to come here and teach conversational English to monks. I was supposed to have a small training session in Kathmandu and then I was to come to the "monastery" and do my teaching stage. I expected, and was told that the monks I would be teaching were going to be between the ages of 14
and 18 and already have some sort of grasp of English... well.... as all interesting things in life, that was far form being the case. So, upon my arrival I settled in to my room which was quite nice except for the 1.5" rock hard mattress and the bag of cement of an excuse for a pillow. What's up with Asia and their love of sleeping on slabs of granite? ( at least I had a western toilet and could use toilet paper) Soon after, I was greeted by my new principal, Lopsang, who gives me my class schedule. Sweet... or so I though... I quickly notice that the original plans of an older class load was not to be the case... oh no... quite the contrary actually. I was given class 1, 2, 4 and 5... holy crap is not even close to how i felt. Ok, well I can do this I say to myself. "So Lopsang, what kind of books and materials do I have to teach with?"
"mmm... I don't have a book for you. Just do whatever."
"uhhh... whatever?"
"mmm... yes. Just teach them good English and all will be ok."
"Ok... so, what level are the students at?"
"mmmmm... they don't speak English very good. After you leave they
will all speak English good."
"right..."
"mmm... ok, I must go now. See you tomorrow."
So that was pretty much my first conversation with my principle. So in essence, I was thrown in to the lion's pit completely unequipped to say the least. The conditions in which I teach and most importantly the conditions in which the students learn is appalling. The classrooms are pretty much a concrete bunker with a blackboard. There is nothing for them... they have their course books, but there is no support materials whatsoever. They are lucky to have pencils and I am lucky when I have chalk to write on the board. even their note books are barely holding together with staples and some of the students have taken to making their own books with scraps of paper held together with thread. Quite ingenious actually. As for me, I've managed to figure out how to teach grades 2, 4 and 5 (apparently they've done away with grades 3 and 6 at this school) but grade 1 class was next to insane. They spent their time standing on their desks, running around like little lunatics and punching each other in the face. Today the new volunteer had to disarm one of the baby monks who was wielding a metal ruler that was pretty much banged up to the point that it would qualify as a knife. I really need to get some video of the insanity that we live... I've pretty much figured out how to deal with my grade 2 class. They are actually really well behaved, but it's hard as out of the 7, there are two geniuses and two kids who are absolutely illiterate. I really have no way of knowing how to juggle the discrepancy in education levels. Anyhow, this class is actually really amazing and very enthused to learn. My grade 4 class has awhack load of really smart students but they all are so shy and don't talk. My grade 5 class like my grade 4 class has it's share of really smart students but man are they ever apathetic teenagers. Outside of class though, the entire place turns in to Fight Club. The kids really seem to like to hurt each other. I've seen kids run around
with 2x4's chasing each other around the yard, I've seen kids beat each other, I've seen kids play with metal... The other night I had to run after 5 year olds wielding meat cleavers as they ran down the hall of the monastery. They really don't have ANY supervision... it's quite insane. Some of their favourite places to play are in the construction site behind the school where they are building a new temple.... and then there is the decrepit tool shed next to the entrance gate where when I decided to have a look at what was inside, my jaw just dropped. An axe, about 4 panes of shattered glass, diesel fuel, a crow bar, a bag of cement and a shovel head.... yes.. a great place for kids to play. I think the worst part is that the other teachers just look on and don't do anything. Yesterday I had to breakup a fight between two 5 year olds who where trying to head butt each other off the dinning room table during lunch while the elder monks looked on and were laughing in that, "oh isn't that cute" kind of laugh... so insane.

As for my life in the monastery, well, it's definitely filled with time. Lots of it. I've managed to read 6 books in my time here. This afternoon one of my goals is to find a book store to pick up some more reading materials. My day is pretty much like this... I wake up at 6:30 to the sounds of the sounds of the students studying their prayers.. I eat at 7 (oh! wait until I tell you guys about the food!),then I'm off until 10:40 when I teach my first class. At 1:20, I'mon break again until 1:40. I teach two 40 minute classes and then at 3, I am off. Supper is @ 7ish and then when it's dark around 8:30, I'm in bed... so I have tons and tons and tons of time, but the really unfortunate part is that I am so far removed from anywhere that I really can't go "visit" much. The Tibetan refugee camp is up the road, and well... aside from the internet cafe, it's pretty much a
refugee camp... run down, depressing and pretty much devoid of
anything of interest. Actually that's not always true. The other night, the owner of the internet cafe invited me to the camp so we could attend a "Pro Tibet" rally. It was probably one of the most bizarre evenings that I can remember in a long time.
Anyhow... back to the monastery life... I think that one of the hardest parts of what I'm living is the food. Now, I've been to many countries and have tried all sorts of crazy foods, but what they have here, isn't so much crazy as it is horrible. I can't believe that this is what they are serving kids on an ongoing basis... prisoners eat better than these kids. I'd go so far as to say that they are mal nourished. So here's a sampling of how we eat in the monastery.
Breakfast: A pita bread and a small plate (4") of boiled curried
cabbage. OR beans and a pita bread. We also get a cup of tea... either sugar tea or the OH SO WONDERFUL Tibetan butter tea... note that the caps was to denote exaggeration... butter tea people....really.
Lunch: For lunch, we have what I like to affectionately call "the white dirt", which is rice that if you haven't guessed it, tastes like dirt. With this wonderful staple, we have about half a cup of greens that have the grit of many eons gone bye... I wonder if they have heard of washing veggies here. Oh, yeah, and we get a small bowl of dhal, which is a lentil or barley soup which if you haven't guessed
it, tastes like dirt.
Supper: Well, for supper we are really spoiled. We get to eat Tukpa!!! Yeah!!!! TUKPA EVERYONE!!!! NOODLES DROWNING IN SALTY BROTH! with gritt... I really don't know why everything here has dirt and grit in it... it's really weird. On special nights like last night,we were treated to a real special Tibetan meal... Timo... Timo...
Timo... where does one even begin to talk about Timo? Actually it'sreally easy to talk about Timo as it's a real simple meal, and apparently everyone's favorite. Timo... is steamed oily dough. Yes... steamed oily dough... wtf? come on. This is supper? I'm supposed to dip the bread in the chili sauce? oh... ok... that makes
it that much more tasty. sigh... seriously though, the food situation is really intense. To the point where my two visting monk freinds can't stand the food either and we'll occasionally escape to the free world and eat... MEAT!!!! YES!!! MY MONKS EAT MEAT!! Twice my buddy Datkpa and I went to a local Tibetan restaurant in the refugee camp and had Buf (pronounced beef, but is buffalo) Momo's which are steamed dumplings and Chapalais, which are buffalo deep fried patties. They are so good.

Anyhow... I'm gonna wrap it up for now as I have to go find some food in the market before the sun sets. I want to thank everyone who helped me deal with the insanity and my freakout upon my arrival at the monastery. It was tough... real tough... you have no idea how close I can to packing it up and coming home. Now that I've found my groove and head space, things are much better. I wouldn't say that I'm having fun... but I am appreciating all the experiences that I am so privileged to be living. I know that I will look back upon this mega adventure fondly despite the fact that there have been huge chunks of it that have been very difficult. I have another 9 days in the monastery and after that I will be relaxing in the lakeside area of Pokhara. Unfortunately I won't be doing any trekking as I am here at the wrong time of the year. Morning/daytime it's 32 degrees with about 85% humidity, so it would be sheer insanity to be out on the trekking trails. To top it all of, it looks like the monsoon has rolled in and it's been raining for about 24 hours solid now. It should be like this until August.... so trekking is out... but before I embark on the Vipassana meditation course, I'm going to do it tourist style in Pokhara. No way I'm heading back to Thamel in Kathmandu. I'll save that for the end of my time in Nepal.

So thanks for your time... I hope you enjoyed. I miss and love you
all... and I'd love to hear from you all. Don't be shy...
Namaste
Chris